4/16/13

Things to Make - Plastic Easter Egg Garden

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Every Easter, we always seem to end up with more of these then we need. We try to reuse them year after year, but so many become lost along the way, causing us to rebuy - a vicious cycle. So this year, I poked holes in the bottom and made them into little planters and color-coded plant type by egg hue.

Now let's just hope I can keep everything alive and growing throughout the summer.

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4/15/13

Place to Go - Hains Point Cherry Blossoms (Washington DC)

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Even though we've lived in the DC area for almost ten years, every spring the cherry blossoms still seem fascinating and new, almost surreal - especially during peak bloom. As any local will tell you, this year's "peak season" became a long delayed experience. Finally, approximately two weeks after the original bloom time estimates, spring engulfed the region.

Usually, we try to see the blossoms on the tidal basin, but parking is always hit or miss. And crowds are everywhere. After realizing that the parking gods were frowning on us, I decided to circle Hains Point before we headed for home. Wow. As we drove closer to the peninsula's end, parking spots started opening up. So we lingered by the water - T practiced his ninja skills (I use the word "skills" loosely) while P climbed gigantic old trees and F "modeled" for me. Eventually we made our way to the playground, where all three kids met new friends and played as dusk started to fall on the city. A cheesily perfect night. And sometimes you need those.

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They don't always get along, but I cherish the moments when they do.

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All you need is a gentle gentle breeze and - BRAVO - flower rain.

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Ninjas and cartwheels, this is how we roll lately.

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I always wind up with more pictures of P's feet than her face. She just moves a lot.

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Even as an adult, there's something fantastic about a playground at dusk.

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At the very end of the night, as we walked back to the car, a huge breeze hit and petals flew everywhere. Wonderfulness.



4/11/13

8 Interesting Articles From Around the Web - On Parenting, Food Fraud, Family Stories, Guns, Feminist Houswives, Life After Work, Mommy Blog Bashing, and Syria

A mixed bag this week, probably because I haven't posted articles in awhile. Hope you find something that resonates with you . . .

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1. I know there are tons of cheesy parenting posts circling the web lately (and I've been known to write a cheesy parenting post or two), but Candace Walsh's Huff Post article on life with small children particularly resonated with me -

"[Seeing an old photo] reminded me of how vulnerable young motherhood is, how it oddly makes you public property, visible, a tableau to judge, a person to advise or criticize, well-meaningly or not. It reminded me of how my formerly predictable life became startlingly unpredictable: My children had minds and bodies of their own, screaming, laughing, sleeping, waking, pooping, regardless of when it was convenient for me. And it reminded me of how submerged I used to feel, as lumpy as my mom purse, breasts swollen with milk, baby weight riding along on my back, my thighs."
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2. This short yahoo article on food fraud is just plain frightening - "olive oil, milk, saffron and coffee [have] joined honey and fish as the most commonly fraudulent products on the market."
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3. I loved the simplicity and genius of Bruce Feiler's New York Times article on the family stories that bind us.

""The bottom line: if you want a happier family, create, refine and retell the story of your family’s positive moments and your ability to bounce back from the difficult ones. That act alone may increase the odds that your family will thrive for many generations to come. "
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4. The New Yorker published a short, well-stated piece on the cultural aspects (are there any other?) of the gun debate -

"And so the real argument about guns, and about assault weapons in particular, is becoming not primarily an argument about public safety or public health but an argument about cultural symbols. It has to do, really, with the illusions that guns provide, particularly the illusion of power. . . .

We should indeed be as tolerant as humanly possible about other people’s pleasures, even when they’re opaque to us, and try only to hive off the bad consequences from the good. The trouble is that assault weapons have no good consequences in civilian life. A machine whose distinguishing characteristic is that it can put a hundred and sixty-five lethal projectiles into the air in a few moments has no real use except to kill many living things very quickly. We cannot limit its bad uses while allowing its beneficial ones, because it has no beneficial ones. If the only beneficial ones are the feeling of power they provide, then that’s not good enough—not for the rest of us to be obliged to tolerate their capacity to damage and kill."
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5. This New York article on the feminist housewife has become such a target of controversy that I'm almost scared to repost. And I agree that the author relies on certain stereotypes about women and men, but I'm also happy that she showcased alternative paths to happiness and fulfillment.

"Kelly calls herself “a flaming liberal” and a feminist, too. “I want my daughter to be able to do anything she wants,” she says. “But I also want to say, ‘Have a career that you can walk away from at the drop of a hat.’ ” And she is not alone. Far from the Bible Belt’s conservative territories, in blue-state cities and suburbs, young, educated, married mothers find themselves not uninterested in the metaconversation about “having it all” but untouched by it. They are too busy mining their grandmothers’ old-fashioned lives for values they can appropriate like heirlooms, then wear proudly as their own. "

. . . .

“But you don’t need to choose,” protests Alicia. “There’s no reason why you can’t work, be a wife and a mother.”

But I want to choose,” says Caitlin. “Maybe it’s different for my generation, but I don’t have to prove anything. Or if I have to, I don’t want to. I’m in love.”
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6. Erin Callan's New York Times article on whether there is life after work really made me think about how we interpret success in modern day society -

"Inevitably, when I left my job, it devastated me. I couldn’t just rally and move on. I did not know how to value who I was versus what I did. What I did was who I was.

. . . .

Sometimes young women tell me they admire what I’ve done. As they see it, I worked hard for 20 years and can now spend the next 20 focused on other things. But that is not balance. I do not wish that for anyone. Even at the best times in my career, I was never deluded into thinking I had achieved any sort of rational allocation between my life at work and my life outside.

I have often wondered whether I would have been asked to be C.F.O. if I had not worked the way that I did. Until recently, I thought my singular focus on my career was the most powerful ingredient in my success. But I am beginning to realize that I sold myself short. I was talented, intelligent and energetic. It didn’t have to be so extreme. Besides, there were diminishing returns to that kind of labor."
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7. I'm a little sick of mom blogger bashing (seriously, what's the big deal? If you don't like them, don't read them. or pinterest them.). But if you're going to bash, then PLEASE be this funny about it. Paul Rudnick had me laughing out loud.

"I believe that childhood is a brief, perfect state of being, and so I’ve tried to enclose my family in a shimmering sphere of enchantment, a realm that I call WonderPlanet, right here in our Park Slope brownstone. On WonderPlanet, anything is possible, as long as everyone loves one another and Goldman Sachs comes through with Daddy’s Easter bonus. I teach my children that money is like fairy dust, because when we sprinkle it around we can dream and sing and fly, usually in business class, and we can bake heart-shaped cookies that we can share with all the other children who aren’t allergic to stone-milled spelt flour, carob chips, whey protein, and smiles.

Some people have criticized me for not going back to work after my children were born, and for hiring a nanny. But I think of nurturing WonderPlanet as a full-time occupation, and someday I do plan on returning to my career as an advocate for women over forty who still want to grow and maintain waist-length hair. In addition, I’ve begun to sell a selection of trademarked WonderPlanet collectibles online, including hand-thrown ceramic mugs inscribed with the mottoes “Wander Into Wonder,” “I’m a Stay-at-Home Dreambuilder,” and “End Bullying Today—Buy a Mug.” I’m also marketing a line of meadow-dried teas, called Peaseblossom Morn, Smoochberries ’n’ Yarn, and Private Tutor. And in just a few weeks I’ll be introducing my WonderPlanet homewares line, in collaboration with Target, which will feature handwoven raffia boxes designed to hold smaller handwoven raffia boxes."
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8. Finally, and most depressingly, the Atlantic published an article on Syria's rape crisis, which brought a whole new dimension to the phrase "horrors of war." WARNING - THE FOLLOWING QUOTES CONTAIN GRAPHIC AND HORRIFIC INFORMATION -

"a confession from a defected Syrian Army soldier [states that] he was ordered "to rape teenage girls in Homs at the end of last year."

"The girls would generally be shot when everyone had finished," the soldier said. "They wanted it to be known in the neighborhoods that the girls had been raped, but they didn't want the girls to survive and be able to identify them later."

. . . .

"a group of Syrian army soldiers had come to their house in Homs, tied up their father and brother, and raped the three women in front of them. The woman cried as she went on to describe how after raping them the soldiers opened their legs and burned their vaginas with cigarettes. They allegedly told the women during this: "You want freedom? This is your freedom."

4/10/13

Things to Do - Snapshots of March

I've been trying to take more pictures lately of ordinary life. Some days are better than others . . .

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P seemed to cartwheel her way through March. Everywhere we went all I heard was "just a few more, mom? please!"

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And T seemed to supehero his way through March. "Can I be a police/firefighter/builder/Batman when I grow up, mom?" "Um, sure, though you might not have enough time for hobbies."

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And F seemed to all of a sudden become OLD in March. I am having a hard time dealing with this.

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This winter, we had a few school cancellations due to snow. Obviously, how can the city operate with accumulation like this?

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Menchie's frozen yogurt opened up down the block from us. Life may never be the same.

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My kids became addicted to silly looking hats.

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The cherry blossoms started to bloom. Then just stopped for for a couple of weeks.

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Dan made T his own headset, so they could take conference calls together.

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F read books at the playground, while P flipped and T climbed.

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Our hotel in Philly had a spinny chair. This was more exciting than you can imagine.

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The Easter eggs went fast this year. Despite their lack of candy.

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T built a trap in the backyard to keep out the bad guys. It took three hours to complete and is so complicated I can't even begin to explain how it works.

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And sometimes we danced on the tables. Well, because we wanted to.

HOW WAS YOUR MARCH???

4/8/13

Things to Do - Prepare for "When the Bad People Come"

Every night at dinner (well, almost every night), our family sits down together and talks about the events of the day. Usually the girls mention squabbles on the playground, new projects at school, etc - the usual highlights and diversions of an elementary school education. But lately all the girls want to talk about are the drills they keep practicing for "when the bad guys come." Each classroom has a different procedure and one teacher even told the kids that they shouldn't worry, that she'd do "whatever it takes" to keep them safe. F found this funny, stating "no teacher is ever going to have to die for us, that's just crazy, mom."

And then I started crying. And I suddenly became very very angry. Because we now live in a country where educators must be willing to face down an uzi in attempting to safeguard kindergarteners. Because just a few months ago, teachers actually did this very thing. And because we seem to think that it's easier/freer/better to train children to hide in closets and corners rather than just try to keep crazy people from purchasing machines meant for mass-murder. Does anyone else think there is something wrong with the fact that "hiding from the bad people" is the new norm of an elementary education? (And, just so there's no misunderstanding, I love the girls' school and am happy that they are conducting such training, I am just furious that they NEED to conduct such training).

I am not anti-gun. We own rifles and shotguns, and a good sturdy gun safe. My husband shoots and likes planning to hunt (he might even actually go hunting if he ever stops working 65 hours a week). But I am anti assault-rifle. And I don't buy into this whole slippery slope argument - we all seem to agree that the right to free speech does not include the right to yell fire in a crowded movie theater (unless, of course, there is an actual fire) nor does it include the right to lie under oath or to defame someone. So why must the "right to bear arms" include all arms? And all ammunition? I'm sorry but no citizen needs a weapon that can launch 165 lethal projectiles into the air in a few moments.

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The problem with such an overwhelming feeling of helplessness, is just that. What to do about it? So I contacted my friend, Cathi, who in the last few months has dedicated the majority of her time and energy to passing common sense gun laws (yup, that's her, in the bright pink sweater, standing behind President Obama). And asked her how we can all make a difference. Here's what we talked about:

* First of all, let's talk about how you became involved, what motivated your activism?

It’s interesting and telling, I think, that you mention F and P's stories regarding the drills. My oldest, J (a 1st grader), came home from school one afternoon and told me about a “stranger drill” they had. He explained they had to hide and be as quiet as could be. He also went on to tell me about the naughty boy in class that couldn’t stay quiet, and “isn’t that silly?” To which I responded with sobs.

It terrified me to think that that a silly 7 year old could mean the difference between life and death for my children at school. It broke my heart to think of the amazing educators and administrators at our school being expected to teach, nurture and encourage my children, but also at the same time, protect them from weapons designed for military use. As a good friend pointed out recently, her husband (an Iraq war veteran) had trained for an additional 3 months to use an AR-15. Its sole purpose is to kill people (not animals). Why was our elementary school working to ensure my children’s safety, but the government was not? I asked my husband (a former Senate staffer) to put me in touch with someone that might be able to get me involved. In our 17 years as a couple (15 of which he spent working for a United States Senator), I’d never asked him to do this. He was able to connect me with someone from Mayor Bloomberg’s organization, Mayors Against Illegal Guns. I had the opportunity to volunteer for 2 days when MAIG flew-in 120 survivors and family members of gun violence to DC in February.

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* Who has come to testify? Please tell us about some of the people you've met

During my two days with MAIG I had the opportunity to attend a Judiciary Committee Hearing with 120+ survivors and victims. It was the second of three hearings on gun violence. I was assisting a woman from North Carolina, in a wheelchair, that had lost her daughter and unborn grandson to gun violence. I also assisted a woman who had lost her 25-year-old son in 2007. She had never flown before and had never been to Washington, DC. But, she said that could no longer just “hope” that something would change. These two women faced incredible obstacles to come to DC to speak to their Senators and Representatives to ensure that their voices were heard.

During day two of my volunteer work with MAIG I was able to accompany a group from Illinois as they attended meetings with Senator Kirk and various Representatives from their districts. I sat and listened as these families told their stories . . . a best friend shot at point blank range by a stalker that bought his gun online; a sister who lost not just her sister and brother and law, but also the unborn child her sister was carrying, when the shooter shot her belly as a final act of horror; a mother, whose only child was one of the 5 killed during the mass shooting at Northern Illinois University in 2008; a friend who had been worried about her friend’s unpredictable and severely depressed boyfriend, before he was gifted a gun from his mother that he used to kill his girlfriend and himself; a mother, who serves her community as a firefighter, who lost her son on a city bus when he used his body as a shield to protect a friend from gunfire; a mother, whose son was leaving church when he was gunned down; and a family, who had lost a precious 15-year old daughter/niece/God-daughter/granddaughter less that 3 weeks earlier, just after she’d performed at President Obama’s Inauguration Parade.

I realized that these people represent the over 30,000 families every year that lose a loved one to gun violence. I read somewhere that it’s the equivalent to a jumbo jet crashing every week for a year. What would our federal government do if a jumbo jet fell from the sky every week? What would the American public do? I felt an enormous amount of guilt. Why was I just speaking up now?

In the days following my time with the people of MAIG, I knew I needed to do more and I joined Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America. (The group was formerly known as One Million Moms for Gun Control). Moms Demand Action is a grassroots organization founded by a Mom in Indiana. Shannon Watts felt the same heartbreak and horror that we did following Newtown and on December 14, 2012 she started a Facebook page. Since then the group has grown to over 80,000 Moms (and Dads and grandparents and Aunts and Uncles, etc.) across the US. They are a non-partisan group that has five goals:

1) Ban assault weapons and ammunition magazines that hold more than 10 rounds.
2) Require background checks for all gun and ammunition purchases.
3) Report the sale of large quantities of ammunition to the ATF, and ban online sales of ammunition.
4) Make gun trafficking a federal crime with serious criminal penalties.
5) Counter gun industry lobbyists’ efforts to weaken gun laws at the state level.

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Moms Demand Action has frequent “calls to action.” For those of us that live locally they have included attending Judiciary Committee hearings and greeting the Sandy Hook Ride on Washington Group amongst other things. I attended the third Judiciary Hearing (before the bills went to mark up) with other members of
Moms Demand Action. We heard Neil Heslin, father of Jesse Lewis (one of the 1st graders killed in Newtown) testify. His voice was so broken he was barely audible. It was one of the most difficult things I’ve heard in my life. As a parent it’s terrifying, as a human being it’s horrifying and as an American it’s shameful. I also met the 26 riders of the Sandy Hook Ride on Washington as they arrived at the US Capitol with other Moms from Moms Demand Action. We heard Senators Blumenthal (D-CT) and Murphy (D-CT) speak as well as Representatives from CT.

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Moms Demand Action organized an event called “Moms Take The Hill” in March. 250 women & men from all over the US came to Washington, DC to see their members of Congress and demand action. During that event I was able to attend a meeting with constituents from Connecticut and their Senators, Blumenthal and Murphy. I’ve also attended meetings with staff of my Senator, Senator Warner (D-VA) to express my views as one of his constituents. Members of Moms Demand Action also were in the audience, along with families and victims of gun violence as well as on stage with President Obama and Vice President Biden during the President’s speech on Common Sense Measures to Protect Children From Gun Violence at the White House on March 28, 2013.

* What current bills are under proposal? How would this change the current status quo?

The Senate should be voting as early as this week on a bill that includes universal background checks, anti-trafficking and straw-purchasing measures, and school safety enhancements. It will also vote separately on an assault weapons ban amendment, which may include a ban on high-capacity magazines (over 10 rounds).

An example of how this would begin to change the status quo:
“Jay Plant, of Mayors Against Illegal Guns, said universal background checks would save women’s lives. Citing coalition statistics, he said that 38 percent fewer women are shot to death by intimate partners in states that require a background check for every handgun sale.”

* What kind of opposition is this facing?

12 senators have signed on to Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul’s threat to filibuster ANY new gun restrictions.
The senators include:
Ted Cruz (R-TX)
Mike Lee (R-UT)
Marco Rubio (R-FL)
Jerry Moran (R-KS)
Pat Roberts (R-KS)
Jim Inhofe (R-OK)
Richard Burr (R-NC)
Ron Johnson (R-WI)
Mike Enzi (R-WY)
Jim Risch (R-ID)
Mike Crapo (R-ID)
Dan Coats (R-IN)

For more information, click here.

* If someone wants to get involved, what can they do? Where should they start?

It can be as simple as picking up the phone and calling your elected officials. I noted how long it took me to do this the other day. In total, to call 2 Senators and 1 Representative and voice my opinion took 2 minutes and 52 seconds. That’s including dialing and waiting for the phone to ring. I know everyone has 3 minutes in his or her day to do this. You can also write letters, email and use social media to express your opinions to your Members of Congress.

You can also make appointments to meet, in person, with your Member’s staff. Here, in the DC area, we have it easy. If you don’t live as close to the Capitol as we do, you can make appointments with their field office staff or call the DC office and ask if you can set up a video conference via Skype.

You can join momsdemandaction.org and then find your local chapter and attend events through them.

YOU CAN MAKE YOUR VOICE HEARD! MOMS ARE LOUD, MOMS ARE TOUGH AND MOMS HAVE REALIZED THAT NOTHING IS GOING TO CHANGE UNTIL WE DEMAND THAT IT DOES.



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